month four.

month four was a crazy beautiful month. so much so, that there wasn’t too much opportunity to keep a list every day of what i was thankful for.
i will say this- every day of april i was thankful for my fiancé/husband. every day before april 17th i was grateful for the people in my life whose love for me is so fierce that they would help at my wedding, they would give me gifts to get life going, they would listen for an hour on the phone as i vented, they would give me hours of their lives to make my wedding the most beautiful and holy thing I have ever been a part of.

every day after april 17th, i was continually grateful for those people. but i was also grateful for God’s intense faithfulness to answer prayer and to bring sunshine on that day, despite forecasts of storms. despite rain all around. somehow He protected an acre in Spring, TX and filled it with His goodness.
i cannot tell you how moved i was by my dear friends and family who joined us. for all 145 of you, i have enough names to write down for the month of april and beyond.
Praise God.

in a book about the things of marriage i was prompted to consider what has motivated my thinking for the past 20 years. i only had one answer. and it came almost immediately.
perfection. doing things right for all to see. i’m sorry to say that it motivates me more than anything.
i can’t accept truth beyond this. and i’m not really sure what is stopping the truth from softening me and opening my eyes to incandescent beautiful life, faith, and hope.
Jesus, help?