If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all. do you believe that? no. i’m serious. do you believe that? because if i’m honest with you, i don’t know if i do. or if i had. up until this time two years ago, life had, overall, run quite smoothly. it…
Category Archives: the rest.
as life continues, so does the silence which has encompassed me since my return to the states. major life changes, the loss of something dear in my life has reinforced the wall of loneliness that surrounds me. how is it that almost every day for two years i have woken up and felt out of…
i know there has been a wall of silence for weeks now. i have not had the courage to get on here and try to put into words what not even my own thoughts can formulate. im back in the country now. well, in the country of my citizenship. and if you were to ask…
last night i took a shower with the door open, the light bulb burned out in the bathroom but thats not really something that needs fixing. i ate a spider leg the other morning in my chocolate bread. after taking a bite i saw that there was a spider in my chocolate, im pretty sure…
this morning i woke up from a dream that i was in istanbul. a few friends and i had gone there from dakar for the evening (remember its a dream) and i decided to roam the streets with one of them, feeling completely at home in istanbul. in my dream, i knew i had to…
i have never felt more like your sister than i do right now.
one of my favorite quotes.
“if i were God, I’d have the answers at the end of the workbook, so you could check as you went along, to see if you’re on the right track. But nooooo. Darkness is our context: without it you couldnt see light. Hope is not about proving anything. It’s about choose to believe in this one thing, that love is bigger than any grim, bleak shit anyone can throw at us.”
– anne lamott.
tahni. i love you.
your words are moving, real, and honest. i can feel them. you speak so much truth about exactly what is in my heart right now. lets talk soon. love love.
I am going to send you a message since I don’t want to spill all my junk out to the whole internet. Hugs from your big sis!
“let that be my official statement that i do not have it together…”
I think it’s quite beautiful that you say that. I know that you’re struggling to find answers and hope right now. But I think much progress is already happening with that statement. I wish everyone would be real and honest with the fact that we don’t have it together. We’re all jacked up.
One of the things Matt Chandler says a lot in his podcasts is that he wants his church to be place where it’s ok to not be ok. So I just want to encourage you with that. It’s ok.
I also encourage you with the book of Hosea. Hosea 2:14reads “Therefore, behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and speak TENDERLY to her.” I am currently trying to hold on to that verse as I face tough times or when I don’t feel God near. I pray that God speaks this way to you in your wilderness.
Keep searching and fighting for truth and meaning. There is much beauty in the fight.
tahni,
i love you a lot. thanks for that incredibly refreshing dose of honesty.
you still owe me a date.
peace.
tahni,
i love you a lot. Thank you for that incredibly refreshing dose of honesty. Your words are such beautiful truths.
let’s have our date soon.
much love.
Tahnalanalinglang:
WotDfD:
“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.” – Malcolm X
This is an interesting quote in that it a paraphrase of your very first sentence in this post. In addition, it was made by one of the most militant American Muslim leaders; perhaps the most militant. Take the words away from him and apply it to your faith today and it could not be more true.
If you do not believe what you wrote I would encourage you to start believing that it is true, that being, if you are not firm in faith you will not be firm – PERIOD. The bible gives us many metaphorical illustrations of the Lord God as our firm foundation. Hurricane Ike may come against Him but he will not budge nor collapse.
I am so sorry that the last two years have been a struggle for you and mostly for the any part that I may be personally responsible. Your dad’s life would not be one that anyone should desire to replicate, but in the end, every time I have wondered from His foundation, He has rescued me at my darkest hour. And it is for one reason only, I wisely returned to my core faith and the absolute belief that He alone could rescue me from myself and any other person or thing.
As you know I have had a great many struggles with my current back problem, but you know what? My life at this very moment is blessed and even through trials, God is faithful to me.
Take heart and know that God is guiding your current journey and if you stand firm in your faith you will be rewarded.
I love you very much,
Dad