“How jealously we guarded the secret of simple pleasures, health-giving remedy for the daily tensions of life.”i’ve found that the days here are hit or miss. the past two days? hit. i attribute some of it to the fact that i feel more confortable stumbling around in french and that if i needed something i…
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the past few days have been a mixture of feelings and thoughts, as is always the case with me. my innate ability to focus on the negative continues to rear its ugly head. i have been enjoying myself for the most part but i usually let myself think on what is difficult or focus on…
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Dad
Tahnster:
Thank you for the latest post, it was great to get an update after so many days. It was also nice to read the many encouraging comments from others.
Okay, here is today’s WotDfD:
“You shall increase my greatness,And comfort me on every side.” — Psalm 71:21 (NKJV)
You WILL be comforted in every way!
Sorry you have been a bit sick, but we have it on good authority that God is all over that now (He runs a healing business on the side!). After reading your post I am convinced that you are well on the road to optimism; hang in there as each day will bring you more peace.
Loved the pics and especially the one of you in the Senegali dress. You look great in yellow (it is that green chili blood and adobe complexion).
I am very glad to hear that things are improving with maman. I believe that when you leave you will truly miss her. I echo the thoughts of others when I say, revel in this experience as you have bravely gone to a place outside of your comfort zone (please refer back to the WotDfD).
As always, I am very proud of you and I was deeply touched by your shout out to Bayli. I love you very much and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.
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Anonymous
Just got your blog info from your sister! We also adopted our daughter from China last year. We are in the process of adopting another daughter from Ethiopia. I love the pictures you’ve taken and what a wonderful opportunity for you to see a country so different from the U.S. and share it with so many others! Thanks and enjoy your stay!ReplyCancel
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Anonymous
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Shannon
I’m so glad your sister shared your blog with us. Some of the feelings you describe remind me of my own semester years agao in a foreign culture…awkard, unable to communicate, feeling less than capable…all there. Still incredible experience that shaped me. You’re blog is great, pictures, stories and all. Blessings to you.ReplyCancel
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KathyP
Optimism is all in the perspective. When I was in grade school, my parents signed me up for a ballroom dance class. One of the first things they taught was, at the end of a song, you politely clap. It could be because you enjoyed the music or the dancing. It might also just be because you’re gad for the song to be over.
Now to relate that to your journey. Each day you’re there can be one day closer to returning home. Or, each day you’re there is the incredible opportunity to earn more about the culture and language.
It really is an amazing thing that you’re doing, something that many would be envious of, as well as something I’m pretty sure you will never regret.
The French will come to you, I’m sure you know much more than you realize. Listen and watch for the context and implied meanings, and there’s not as much need for vocabulary.
I don’t know the bible, but I do know optimism. Chances are, you’re better at teaching the religious stuff than I am at teaching someone to hope — but go ahead and prove me wrong! 🙂
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Cristina
Hope you are feeling better now Tahni There’s almost nothing worse than a dose of the dreaded ‘tummy upsets’ whilst in a strange place! Your photos are beautiful – you have a real gift for capturing striking images. So glad that your communication with maman has improved. God bless you Tahni,
Cristina in TasmaniaReplyCancel
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viens et vois are the word written on the outside of the church building. it is truly a miracle that i was put with this family that happened to live a mere 8 minutes walk from possibly the most amazing church i have ever been a part of. it took everything i had not to…
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Dad
Tahnzella:
I will post the e-mail note I sent to you and others earlier.
Know that Dad loves you!
Let me start with the WotDfD (Word of the Day from Dad for those of you who do not know) –
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” — John 14:27 (NKJV)
As I said in my previous post to your blog, please trust in these truths. God will not let you down in Africa. I believe that the only “problem” you have with maman is the current language barrier. You need not be afraid of her, she does care about your welfare and last night she was worried about you, not mad at you. Remember that different cultures deal with things in different ways. Even though you are on an emotional roller coaster, you were not crying due to unhappiness and you need to communicate this to maman. You need to tell her that you are not comfortable with your French and that fact stresses you out. If you look at your family you may notice that none of them are emotional, so your feelings and emotions may seem foreign (no pun intended) to them. In my many travels I have found that people will be very understanding once they know your point of view; maman is no different. Your situation is likely a matter of language and culture and nothing more. Remember this – God SPECIFICALLY put you into that home (a great church just 8 mins away!!), in the end you will be amazed at what He will accomplish through you.
Just respect maman, try your best to educate her on who Tahni the person is and God will handle the rest. Though it saddens me as a dad that you are so discouraged right now, I am very excited for what the future holds for you in Senegal these coming 3 months. You will persevere and this trip will forever be remembered fondly by you.
Know that Brooke and I are praying for you that your relationship with maman will improve, that you will stop being worried about your French and that you will know with complete certainty that God is with you, that He loves you and that He will do a great work through you in Senegal. Your previous dedication and work ethic will serve you well in plowing throw all the work you have to complete. Please enjoy your trip to St Louis. Revel in the experience that you are living. Learn to love the country, the Senegalese, and the culture! I am certain that all will turn out well. When in doubt, please refer to today’s WotDfD!
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katieh
bonjour tahni!
je comprends. going to France and learning to speak was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m glad you’re sending emails/blogging when you can so I can pray for you specifically.Remember that no matter how bad your French (or Wolof!), how hard your classes, or how many culture moments/days/weeks you have, c’est dans Jésus Christ seul où ton valeur est trouve. He’s brought you to Senegal to teach you hard and beautiful lessons you can only learn there.
My TAMU prof who went to France with the group told us to say “merci” et “s’il vous plait” a lot when talking with our host families. That way, even if we didn’t understand each other, they would know we were grateful and wanted to understand. I don’t know if that helps any. It did me.
Je t’aime mon amie et je comprends~
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Louanne
Tahni – I love you so much and will continue my prayers for you. I pray that you will cling to God and know that He is with you. Remind yourself that NOTHING on this trip is a surprise to Him. It’s worth repeating – NOTHING on this trip is a surprise to the Lord.
I pray for all the things you have listed and most for your relationship with the maman.
I absolutely loved your description of the church you went to. I remember when we went to Mexico and heard people praying to Jesus Cristo. I was reminded that God is the same no matter what the language.
I wish I could send you a hug through the internet, but instead know that I am hugging you in my heart and thinking of you throughout my day.
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Cristina
Hi Tahni,
I got your blog address from Louanne and have been fascinated to read of your experiences. I know you must be feeling pretty overwhelmed, alone in a strange country, where the language is a real barrier to effective communication. Just remember that God is with you, and will ALWAYS be guiding you. One of my favourite scriptures is Deut. 31:8 ‘The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged’. Hang in there Tahni – this is an amazing experience that you are in the midst of and once you have had a chance to settle in a bit more, I am sure that things will seem easier for you. God bless you,
Cristina in TasmaniaReplyCancel -
lieblingk
Hi I am a friend of your sister’s and wanted to say that what you are undertaking is brave and I am proud of you.I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Enjoy your time and please remember this is an opportunity many dream of but rarely are brave enough to do . Have as much fun as your heart can stand . I glad you chose to dance.
Kim(aka Lieblingk)ReplyCancel -
Anonymous
Hi there,
I am Louanne’s blogger friend from RQ and wanted to say Hi. I wish I could write something that would help you feel a little better. Your posting reminds me of how I felt at 20 when I went to south east asia to marry my husband. We met at university and fell in love. I was not alone when I arrived, but it was the very first time I travelled overseas to an environment that was very, very, very different from where I was from. The cultural shock was HUGE for me!! Everyone stared at me, tried to touch me and things like what you talk about happenned to me. Different languages, toilets in the ground (yup those were not great) and cold showers. As for the cockroaches, wow they were horrible (I thought they were rats). My trip lasted for about 10 weeks. These were the hardest weeks of my life, but something I have never regretted because I learned some very important lessons. I learned what it is like to be a part of a visible minority (I am caucasian); something that I never would have learned in North America and as a mother to adopted children of a visible minority (China) this is something I am forever grateful to God for and I believe was one of the reasons I was sent there. Hang in there.
Sincerely,
Catherinethegreat (well I have another name, but I am mother to a catherinethegreat!!!)from RQ.ReplyCancel -
Jeff and Amy
Friend from Louanne’s RQ group. First let me say I think it is amazing what you are doing, it’s often scarey to do something you know you are called to do, but the rewards will be great!!!! Your description of the service gave me chills, now that is “Praise”, one that cannot be contained in the body, what a blessing to be apart of such a wonderful experience. I will pray that your journey brings you many blessings, funny how when we are doing his will, all the blessing we receive. Thank you for being such a warrior for God. In Christian Love, AmyReplyCancel
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Kiy
Another friend of your sister’s popping over to say hello. You are so brave to be doing this! Keep your chin up, don’t let maman get to you! Find something you can think of (Nadia’s cute little face maybe?) and whenever she goes off on you, picture that … like Tinkerbelle said, ‘find your happy place’. Just picture that, whatever it is, tune her out and nod now and then. It works, I had to do it once … for five years!
/hugs dear, you really are brave. I know it’s a hard step you took, but take it you did, kudos! Take the good from this trip, blow off the folks that seem intent on hurting you. Know you are so loved (Louanne is cheering you on to all of us!).
Kiy
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Bill & Linda
Hang in there! I got your blog address from your sister. I admire you for going so far away from all that’s familiar.
I have friends who went to Africa a few years ago and they laugh now about a lot of the things that drove them crazy then. The worst thing for them was bootcamp before they went.
I’m sure you’ll adjust soon. Keep praying sweetie!
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KathyP
Tahni, things will get better, and you will grow more accustomed to the customs of the people and the family you’re living with. Stay focused on your purpose for going to Senegal, and the end goal, and perhaps that will keep your spirits from flagging. New and different experiences can be very disorienting for a sensitive person (like you and me). Hang in there!
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MLHathcock
Reach out your hand
Take mine in yours
Transfer the doubt
Replace all the fear
With Your able strength.Reach out your hand
Take mine in yours
Transfer all loneliness
Replace my sad tears
With Your courage.Reach out your hand
Take mine in yours
Be my vitality
Surround me with light
Make me so strong
That I can persevere through this trial.Tahni I haven’t known you long, but I’ve just had a chance to read your blog today. My soul is touched by you. God is reaching out to me through you, your pictures, your words, and your feelings. I felt moved to write the above for you. You are an artist, painting a canvas that is ever changing; as He uses you to affect the lives of others. If there were some magic words of comfort I could impart I would, but I have no magic. I only ask Him now that He would give you the wisdom and clarity to know His will for your life, that He would give you the strength and courage to fullfill the works He has for you and that He would give you peace in your heart and joy in your soul. Many Blessings! Keep on Blogging. LauraReplyCancel
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Maddys Mom
Hello: I am one of Louanne’s blogging buddies. She told me about your blog so I thought I would check it out.
I just want to encourage you in the Lord to keeping pressing on! I have been on a few missions trips and have also spent time abroad and know how hard & lonely it can be.
Rom 8:28 & Jer 29:11 are verses that I cling to often, I hope it will bring you some comfort! Take care and hang in there!!
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Melissa
Tahni,
I love love love you and I miss you so much. I picked up my phone a fews days ago because I was watching Gilmore Girls and thinking of you. After pulling up your name I realized you wouldn’t pick up and it made me incredibly sad. But then I felt alot of happiness and excitement for you because I knew you were experiencing an oppurtunity so few people will ever have!
I can only imagine your loneliness and worries. I wish I could offer you some sound advice or knowledge. I pray you are able to find beauty, fellowship, relaxation and inspiration during your trip. God has placed you in that particular home for a reason and I have full confidence that you are the right person the job!!! You have so much to give and you encourage me with every word I read on your blog. I am blessed that you allow me to be your friend. Great, I’m all teary eyed and mushy now!!!
I love you girl. I have two interviews on Monday (fourth and fifth grade openings). I will let you know how they go! Kisses!!!!!!
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so yesterday, with a nervous stomach and an anxious feeling, i moved into my host home. they are a catholic family- an aunt who is a french teacher and her niece- Cynthia who is 12 and her nephew- Remy who is 10. another aunt lives in the house and i think is some sort of…
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Dad
Tahni:
Thank you again for the update, looks like you got us pictures this time – woo hoo. BTW, I think you are only 5 hours ahead of Texas, right?
Let me start my post today with YOUR “Word of the Day from Dad” (WotDfD – pronounced “Whatdiffed”)
“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)
Trust in the truth from Isaiah as you deal with the anxiety of your new country and your new “family”. You need not worry about your French as you will be quite fluent in a few weeks. Also, how blessed are you to have private language tutors that will NOT judge you? God put those particular kids there for you for such a time as this!
As for the bathroom, be thankful you have a toilet. Try not to think in terms of your American bathroom, but rather, be comfortable with the fact that everyone in the house has become accustom to using that toilet and likely never give any of your fears a single thought (oh, and remember your Mexico trip).
Lastly, it is interesting to read your post and notice that every concern that you expressed was followed by a calming wave that seemed to ease you a bit (i.e., language/kids, fast speaking guide/the nice guy in your group). Do not worry nor fret about your maman, she will soften with time.
Remember Rob’s encouragement in his post that God will not leave you nor forsake you – HOLD FAST TO THIS TRUTH. Brooke and I are very happy to hear from you and we look forward to more.
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Louanne
Hey Tahni! There is so much I want to say, but I understand the various issues you are having. But my prayer for you will be that you don’t let these thing paralyze you or fill you with fear. Acknowledge all of this to God and He will see you through it. I know He will, I have been there. We love you!!!
P.S. You don’t have to be perfect in French and you are just going to get more stressed out if you continue to compare yourself to the others in your group. This is a learning adventure.ReplyCancel
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Rohit
Tahniiiiii great to read your blog. Your experiences are a window for everyone into a world unknown and you are writing beautifully.
The non-WC toilet is a bit funny; being from India that’s regular for us. Giving tips would be highly embarrassing and is hence avoided 😀
One way to get a bit of insight might be to talk a bit with the children of the house and/or their friends. I remember having fascinating views of the world as a child. Maybe you might get a new window to the world through them.ReplyCancel -
jmo
Tahni, when you start to worry about your French, I suggest you think about Anja. When she moved into my apartment she and I could barely communicate because, even though she had studied English in school, she had never really had the opportunity to practice with native speakers. But, you saw her by the time she left. She was basically fluent and rarely had to ask for help with finding the right words. That will be you, too. By the time you leave you will speak French effortlessly. Don’t stress.
I love you and I hope you are healthy and happy.ReplyCancel
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i have been in dakar for one full day and i can hardly believe that i am here. looking around, it is not as urban as i would have expected for a capital city, but it makes sense. if i had to give you one word to sum up the craze that is my emotions,…
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T.Rob
I DID appreciate the “I wanna make love in this club” shout out. I think of you every time I hear that song as well. Lol. Well, just know that I am fervently prayin for ya. I hope that the adjustment to the lifestyle and culture and people and everything else runs a bit smoother in the days to come.
I also think it’s very beautiful how scripture is encouraging you. That encourages me very much. Romans 12 is a goodie.
Good luck with everything. And remember to always Praise Him! -
Greg
Tahni: Thank you for the update. There you are on yet another Tahnzella adventure. As always, you will adjust to all aspects including the group, the education, the Sengelese, the cold showers and the lack of power. Sad about the USB, perhaps you will have access to another computer soon. If not, we will see it all when you return. Praying for you. And a verse for you today is “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9 (NKJV). I love you. –DadReplyCancel
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Rob
Tahni,
I was reading Genesis yesterday and i came across the Abraham and Sarah. It spoke of how Sarah believed in the humanly impossible promises of God. Now, i know as do you that the Bible says that God will never leave us nor forsake. I can imagine… no i can’t imagine what your going through. Having to be in a brand new place without the ability to rely on your first known language would be insanely tough. But, our God is able to do anything. So i pray for confidence and today may you find some peace in knowing God will not through anything at you that you can’t handle. Love you girl praying for you.
Grace be with you
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I love the photos, the little girl looks so sweet. I am glad that things are evening out a bit for you. And thank goodness for your IPOD. I love you!! And we continue to pray.
Tahnimeister:
Today’s WotDfD:
“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!” — Philippians 4:4 (NKJV)
I am very happy for the positive change in happiness in your recent post. I knew that you would adjust and start to feel much better. BTW, you are both an incredible photographer and a gifted writer. You continue to inspire your old man!
The truth is that we humans most often forget the secrets of simple pleasures. We somehow think that complexity drives success and value! The happiest people I know live the simplest of lives. Thank you for the great insight in this post.
As always, Dad remains very proud of you and your courage. I love you and look forward to speaking with you on your new cell phone soon.
Oh, btw, Dad may need back surgery, can I ask you to pray for me? I can hardly move most days. Thanks. We are praying for you!
I love you very much,
Dad
I am so happy to hear this Tahni Joy. and I just have to say 2 things:
1) you are an AMAZING photographer, seriously, I question so much if you just googled those pictures to put on your blog or not.
2) that little girl is PRECIOUS! if you see her again, please take more pictures =)
Dear Tahni,
What an incredible journey! I wrote you a post which talked about my encounters with towns sans elecricity in Africa (which was most of them where I went…) and my bout of sickness which was really scary (imagine feeling like you ate a full set of steak knives) but my computer chose the moment of “submit” to crash.
Way back when, people were able to see things made which they would then use. Nowadays, we can only imagine all these things as they are manufactured halfway around the world. And there you were! How amazing. And your language is clearly coming along… the light bulb is now switched on (well except for occasional blackouts but you’re an old hand at that).
As always, we are praying for your health, your happiness and your discovery as God leads you gently through both good and bad days. Drink it all in with the appropriate dose of malaria pills, and you will be all the richer for it. So will the people there whose lives you touch, even in a small way or in ways you don’t even realize.
Miss you!
Lots of love and blessings above all,
Brooke 🙂
Thani–I too have recently started using Diary of Private Prayer & have found it be a wonderful addition to my life. I pray that Lord uses it to encourage & teach you daily in Senegal. Love your e-mails & blog posts. Continuing to pray for you….beverly
Ah,your posting reminded me of something I thought of but forgot to write. Which is, it’s so easy to stumble around in French, in a foreign country. Chances are you know much more than you think you do, and it’s just the fact that you’re immersed in it that makes it overwhelming.
But, just because everyone else is conversing fluently doesn’t mean that you have to as well. Even on a mission, one can be quiet and introspective. As long as you’re friendly and polite, people will respond in kind. Practice your “bonjour”, “merci”, and “un cafe s’il vous plait” (or your beverage of choice) and you’ll be just fine!
This sounds so superficial in comparison to what you’re going through, but I spent a week in Paris a couple of years ago, having only taken a few years of French in junior high. And I’m pretty quiet and introspective as well. In just a couple of days, a lot of my old French was coming back. Not necessarily enough to speak, but enough to understand. And with my looks (I’m Chinese), it was fairly obvious that I was a visitor — as I’m sure it is with you! And people were very, um, accommodating and understanding.
It does sound like things are much better already. I hope that they continue to improve.
And, you do take wonderful photographs. You’re obviously able to see the beauty in your surroundings, which means you at least acknowledge that the beauty exists. Another step towards learning to hope!
Kathy (Louanne’s friend)