i don’t read christian blogs. i don’t even like christian blogs. by that, i don’t mean i won’t read the blogs of other christians.
but when i see posts about christianity, i run away (technically, click away) as fast as my fingers will carry me.
but then i found Jamie. and i think she is my long lost other half of my soul.
this morning, i saw one of her tweets that somehow, by the ultimate miraculous of miraculous miracles, i clicked my way straight to donald “super-christian writer” miller’s blog.
20 minutes ago i was writing in my journal, the first entry in oh, 3 months? 4 months? however many months, its been a long time.
anyway, i was writing about my hardness. my heart feels the heaviness and the hardness of a boulder. i’m kind of at my wit’s end. i’m kind of tired of all the expectations of being a christian.
and then i read this post. and then i thought “hey, if this is true, maybe i can go on. if i can believe this, there may be hope for me yet. i may someday know freedom, joy, and hope.”
that is power.
now, how to believe this and be around people who exude this…
oh, and to break down a million other walls and fears.
Thanks for sharing the link to Donald Miller's blog post. I think about what he wrote a lot, but have never been able to phrase it as fluidly as he did.
And I love Jaime's blog too. It makes me happy.
I feel kinda the same way about Christian books. Recently, though, I picked up "The Holy Longing" and although there are some parts I'm not 100% sure about, it has me thinking…a lot. And I'm finding that I'm gaining new insight and hope in many areas where there was none.
Thanks for sharing! You encourage me a lot, you know. Miss you.
yeah, agreed on the expectations of being a christian. my blog talks about me wrestling with expectations, lies, wrestling with what is hope, how can i find it, etc. i hope you check it out. yes, it is christian 🙂 i try hard to weed out the fluffy stuff and be real, but it's tough. still have all those expectations engrained in me, trying to weed them out.
Hey girl, I'm right there with you. Instead of finding freedom in Christ, I often find bondage in all the expectations of what life is supposed to be like as a Christian. I just want to be me, and to live my life with God with none of the extra crap getting in the way. I just need to learn how to do that, to learn how to let go of what other people think and what other people say my life should be like. I think in that is freedom. It's hard to break out of a system that you've been a part of your whole life. I'm working on it though…..
Ezekiel 36:26 has helped me in times such as you are describing and was always proved true. I rested in it and took great comfort.